A big decision

I have started this blog as a way of ordering my thoughts during the arduous journey of infertility treatment. Will try to give an honest account of what it's like as a Christian couple going through this.
So, this morning we had a much anticipated review appointment with my consultant. We thought we were there to discuss how I got on with the fertility drugs I was on and whether I should continue or try something else. He thought it was a review based on the appointment with the geneticist (which was in May!) He forgot I had polycystic ovaries and had irregular cycles and had no idea I had been on the medication. I felt like I was being told of because they didn't have a record of my geneticist appointment and I didn't take it with me as it was almost a year ago! He basically said that as nothing else has worked our only option is IVF. So that's the big decision. I think there may be other options but was caught off guard today and didn't feel I could ask about them. I have another appointment in a month so will write everything down and try to have more of a discussion. We had previously decided that if it came to this we would adopt rather than go down the IVF route but now we are actually here I don't know! It's very easy to make a decision when you think you have more options. I now it is a hard process and there are ethical considerations. I'm just not sure I'm ready to give up on being pregnant. I also know that many people find one they start the adoption process they fall pregnant naturally, but many don't. I know that God can do miracles but the reality is, here and now, I have to prepare myself that this may never work for us. I love the idea of adoption just didn't expect to be here quite so soon.