Today is Easter Sunday. Christ is risen, hallelujah! Today is a really happy day! However, at church this morning I felt far from happy. I knew I should be happy, I am happy that I can share in Christ's resurrection life. But for me, in the moment, for some reason the sting of childlessness was more acute than it has been for a long time. As I was sat in church fighting back the tears it struck me that, at its heart, Easter is about hope and new life and I am putting my all into the hope that IVF will bring about new life for our family. I guess I found it hard because it's another celebration we have to face without children. I know we have hope in Christ and I know that we will be parents. But we're not now. I still had to laugh at other people's children wearing bunny ears. For whatever reason the pain of childlessness is particularly sharp today. It's just another day to wonder when it will be my turn. I didn't expect this today. On Sundays like mother's day and baby dedications and even Christmas I expect to feel the pain but I wasn't prepared to fell so upset today!
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