Numbers

My eggs were collected on Monday in preparation for our IVF treatment. I went in with 24 follicles but we only got 12 eggs. Yesterday I had a phonecall to tell me that only 8 had fertilised successfully. That means we have 8 embryos (we have nick named them blobs!) that need to develop enough cells to undergo the genetic testing we need. Today one of the ladies on the Facebook support group I'm part of posted that she had 21 eggs retrieved from 30 follicles. Everyone keeps telling me my numbers are really good but I found it really hard to congratulate her knowing my numbers are so low in comparison. Embryos have to get to day 5 for testing and it's unlikely a while batch will get there. We will have a phonecall tomorrow (day 3) to see how many have made it that far then again on Saturday (day 5) with numbers for testing. I know God is in control and that just the right amount of embryos have fertilised but I'm finding it hard to trust Him with such low numbers. I'm praying so hard for my 8 little blobs, I really believe we'll have something to transfer. This treatment has really taken it's toll on my body and I'm not sure I can put myself through it again. The nurse was saying before that if we get low numbers of embryos we might think about going straight into another cycle to bank embryos. But I feel that if we have anything to transfer we should. I also feel that if this cycle doesn't work out we should pursue adoption. But we get 3 funded cycles on the NHS so the sensible thing to do would be to use them. However I'm learning that God's will and the sensible thing to do don't always line up!