Tuesday 14 July 2015

Choices

Today I found out that we have 4 genetically normal embryos that we can use for frozen embryo transfer. There are also 2 more that have genetic defects but could still quite likely result in a successful pregnancy. The babies that may result from those embryos could have health problems but would survive. This means when it comes to it we have to decide whether to let those 2 perish or use them in transfer. We will use our 4 healthy embryos first but I hate that we have to make that choice. When it was just about embryos which have my translocation and would not survive to term the choice is easy. I also know that God has only given us the amount of embryos that we need. As we only get 3 goes at FET (I think) I'm not sure what to make of the fact we have 4. Maybe we will have a failed cycle along the way. I am praying that we are not going to have to decide to let unused frozen embryos perish. After a certain number you have to pay and we can't afford that! I need to check all this of course. I've been struggling with headaches and dizzy spells which is my bodies response to stress. I thought finding out would help but actually feeling even worse since finding out! I wish my body didn't deal with stress in that way but it always has done! This is such an ethical minefield and I almost feel guilty for being happy about having embryos to choose from! I am happy. I have to phone the clinic Monday and all being well they'll let me book in for transfer. There's a chance they'll make me wait another month due to the over stimulation but am praying that doesn't happen!!

Friday 3 July 2015

Bumps in the road

Since I last posted an update on here my IVF journey has gotten interesting! When you have IVF your ovaries are stimulated with medication and hormones so they produce lots of eggs and consequently several embryos. One of the risks is that the medication works too well and over stimulates the ovaries. This results in ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome (OHSS) which means the ovaries are enlarged and leaking fluid into the abdomen. This is what happened to me. It normally happens 2-3 days after egg collection but I made it to 4 days after before I started to feel unwell. Therefore I was surprised when I was diagnosed but when I saw my scan it became clear why I was so ill. My abdomen was full of ovaries and fluid pushing everything else (stomach etc) out of the way leaving me very nauseous and being sick. I was also constantly dizzy and unable to stand for more than 10 minutes as fluid had leaked out of my blood vessels leaving my blood thick and sticky and not moving around my body properly. All this meant I was relieved when the doctor admitted me to hospital for treatment! I was given anti sickness medication and put on a drip. After one night I was able to go home and recover there. I've now been given the all clear from the OHSS but am still a little bloated as there is still a bit of fluid and my ovaries are still a bit bigger than they should be. So I still need to rest and not bounce about too much as my ovaries are still big and could twist. I'm feeling much better in myself so I'm finding it hard to stay off work and not feel guilty! I feel bad being off sick when I'm able to do bits and pieces. But I know I need the rest of the week for my body to come back to normal. On Sunday I should be working a 14 hour shift and I know I'm not up to that yet! I still get very tired and have some residual bowel problems from everything being so squashed inside! I'll go back next week knowing I've had a proper rest.
My illness has given me time to reflect on the journey so far. I am grateful to God that we have to have a frozen cycle while they test the embryos. If we were not doing this my cycle would have been cancelled as I would have been too unwell. Or if I had transferred before I became unwell it would have been a different story as early pregnancy makes OHSS much worse. Also I think I really needed an extra week off work. Although it's been hard I've had lots of time to read the bible and listen to worship music which has been great!
In other news all 8 of our embryos have been tested and frozen. We're just waiting for the results then I can phone the clinic and find out what I need to do for the frozen embryo transfer. I just need my monthly cycle to start first which is proving illusive due to the OHSS I think.