Emotions and perseverance

My IVF experience has been hit by even more bumps in the road this week. My first attempt at having one of our genetically normal frozen embryos put back failed according to home pregnancy tests. On Tuesday we had an appointment with our consultant to discuss the failed cycle and next steps. However, as I had not started my period the doctor told me it couldn't say it has failed yet. I did a natural transfer with no medication so should have started my period on time or soon after. Tuesday I was already 12 days late. So I had blood taken for a pregnancy test to be done in the lab. Because the Dr was not convinced the cycle has failed he refused to talk next steps. He phoned me the following day with the results. The test was negative, the cycle had definitely failed. I was disappointed but also relieved. The Dr had said that if urine tests are negative but blood positive it's likely to be something like an ectopic pregnancy. So on Wednesday on the phone the Dr told me I could get some medication to start my period and also get some medication to do a short medicated frozen transfer. This was great news. A regular medicated cycle takes 2 1/2 months. I've been told my next cycle needs to be medicated due to the lateness of my period. I feel sure God has told me I'll have another embryo in before Christmas so I was happy to hear there was a short option. It takes around 3 weeks. So I'd gone from disappointment to hope and happiness. I was also anxious about doing a medicated cycle as I didn't react well to the medicine I was on before. This medication is different though so I was willing to try it. That was Wednesday. On Thursday I phoned the clinic and spoke to a nurse. She said that as the medication needed to be stated on day 2 of my period there wouldn't be time to get the medication to me. She was convinced my period was about to start. She said I'd have to wait till January due to Christmas closures. I was crushed. She then said she was concerned I may have a cyst stopping my period from coming. She told me if my period still had not come by Monday to make an appointment for a scan. She then threw me a morsel of hope. She said if I went in for scan they could sort me out meds to transfer before Christmas! She phoned back 10 mins later saying she was sufficiently concerns to book me in for scan on Tuesday. That was Thursday. On Friday my period started! I felt pretty disappointed as it seemed I wouldn't be able to get meds in time and would have to wait till January. I called the clinic and spoke to the same nurse. She was so nice and eager to help me. So she fast tracked my meds prescription and talked me through the process. I'd gone from disappointment to hope and happiness in a matter of hours! So yesterday, Saturday my meds were delivered and I started taking them. I have to take a combination of tablets and injection. Unfortunately I have not reacted well to the medication. Had a night of nausea and very little sleep. Reading up on side effects I think it's all normal but I hope it eases up. I can't live like this for very long. I only have to inject for a week but have to take the tablets for longer. I'm learning through all this different ways to pray. I'm now praying for power to persevere and endure and also for side effects to be relieved. I praise God for the opportunity to try again before Christmas. I've been through so many emotions this week I've been grateful of the opportunity to rest today. I had to call in sick and have spent the day on the sofa and in bed. God is meeting my needs in unconventional ways!
Yesterday we also went to the Fertility show in London. It was good but more relevant to people self funding or earlier in the process than us. It made us immensely grateful to God for our 3 NHS funded cycles! We went to a seminar on coping strategies which was really helpful. It actually made us realise we are coping remarkably well!
I'm starting to recover from all my crazy emotions this week and just praying that the side effects will ease off so I can get on with my life! I need to remember that, particularly for me, emotional turmoil almost always causes physical symptoms. I'm asking God for respite from that!