I've not posted on here much this year, it's been quite a year. We thought we'd end this year as parents but instead we're ending it coming to terms with the fact that we are likely to never be parents. To help focus my mind and sort out my headspace I've decided to write a blog post each day in advent. The posts will be based around a different infertility themed Bible verse or character.
Day 1-Rebekah
Genesis 25:21
Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.
If I'm honest I struggle with this verse. Lots of people, including my husband have prayed for me because I am childless and I've not become pregnant, or I've lost the babies I have carried. I used to find hope in this verse and others like it but 7 years in I now find it tough. Did we not pray right or well enough? So we not have enough faith? I guess what this verse does for me now is remind me that God's timing is not ours, His ways are not our ways. It may be His will for us to wait years and then have a baby, it may be His will for us to never have children of our own but to act in a parental role to other people's children. We don't know. But I do know that, despite it feeling like God has let us down, he hasn't and he never does. In all this suffering He is still good, still God and still on His throne in control.
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