Today is international woman's day, Sunday was mother's day. It's got me thinking about the way infertility and miscarriage have changed the way I think of my identity as a woman. I know there's more to womanhood than bearing a child and being a mother but I feel that there's a certain expectation of those roles in today's society. Everything seems to be geared towards children and families and there seems to be an expectation that the natural progression for a woman is to become a mother. I long to be a mother but it's not happening for me. I have moments when all I want to do is hide from all things baby and child related but that is really hard to do. I'm speaking as someone who wants to be Mum but can't but I'm aware that there are plenty of women who don't have the desire or inclination for Motherhood. Maybe it's because of the intensity of my desire or the obvious failure of my pregnancy but I feel like society views all woman who are not mothers as failures. I'm making generalisations here and taking about the overall view of society as a whole. I'm part of an amazing church community where I feel thoroughly supported and not at all like a failure. However the Church doesn't decide what's on TV or in newspapers or sold in the shops. It does feel like my status as a woman is lacking something and society seems to rub my face in it a bit! I'm not moaning here I'm just trying to figure out how I think about my own identity. Ultimately I know my identity is in Christ, I am loved by God whether I have a baby or not. I'm also a mother even though I have no living children. It's just hard when society seems to equate being a woman with being a mother. Especially when I would give anything to be a mother of living children.
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