An open letter to Mums of little ones from their friends struggling through infertility

Dear friend,
Firstly thank you for letting us enjoy time with your children. Seeing them grow and develop into little people gives us hope that miracles happen. Especially if you have had a difficult journey to parenthood, setting you with your kids brings joy to our hearts. Most of the time. There are inevitably times we'll struggle to see parents and children. Sometimes the pain of childlessness is too much to bear and it's easier to run and hide and isolate ourselves. Please don't be offended if we distance ourselves from you for a time but also please check in on us from time to time. The burden of infertility treatment weighs on our hearts in different ways each day. Sometimes it changes hourly! Sometimes we need to be alone to cry other times we need to be around busy, functioning families. Most of the time we just need a friend. Even if we seem low and your children are buzzing around you please don't feel like you can't be the one to ask if we're OK and offer a friendly hug. You might be the only one to offer and if you hold back because of your kids we end up feeling even more isolated. If we're finding it too much with your children around we will tell you. Infertility is a lonely isolating journey, you being willing to travel with us really helps. Please don't feel awkward around us with your kids, we feel awkward enough for the both of us! Please don't withdraw from us because you think it will sharpen the pain having kids around. It may do but just knowing someone still wants to be your friend speaks volumes. Let us be the ones to withdraw if we feel the need. The pain of infertility is ever present and sometimes we just need a bit of normality and fun to take our minds of things. Some of us are going through grueling treatments that take their toll on our bodies, minds and spirits. Please bear with us in this time, our emotions are often out of our control and some IVF meds cause us to experience menopausal symptoms which can be embarrassing. It's often at this time more than ever that we need fun and business.
Thank you friend for sharing in the ups and downs of our journey through infertility. We couldn't do it without you!
In love
Your friend. X