Today we went to out IVF clinic for what we thought would be the last time for this cycle. I'm 7 weeks 4 days pregnant and today should have been the day when we heard our babies heartbeat for the first time. The nurse inserted the scanning probe and moved it around a bit and we all waited and listened for that pulsating sound that would have put our minds at ease. That sound never came. We were faced with a deafening silence. The nurse tried very hard to find what she knew we needed to hear. However she was trying in vein. She showed us the screen and said she could see everything she needed to. There's a gestational sac, a yolk sac and a foetal pole (what the embryo is called now) but, alas, no foetal heartbeat. As I had some bleeding 10 days ago the nurse said it may be that baby had died. She did give us a glimmer of hope though. She said that very occasionally the embryo beds into the lining so deeply that it obscures the heartbeat. I have to go back next week to see if we can find the heartbeat. So we have another week of uncertainty ahead of us. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I know we have a God who loves us and can do miracles. I know this is an opportunity to pray for the heartbeat to appear miraculously. However, after the bleeding scare and everything up to now I feel like I'm all prayed out. I don't have enough faith left to believe we'll hear a heartbeat next week. I want to buy I'm so very tired! So, friends, if you pray please pray for me. Please have faith for my miracle when I don't have any left.
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